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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30119139">By now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dlghted/pseuds/dlghted'>dlghted</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monsta X (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Gryffindor Son Hyunwoo, Hogwarts Forbidden Forest, Hufflepuff Lee Hoseok, Hufflepuff Lee Jooheon, M/M, Minor Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Minor Lee Jooheon/Lee Minhyuk, Panic Attacks, Ravenclaw Chae Hyungwon, Ravenclaw Im Changkyun, Slytherin Lee Minhyuk, Slytherin Yoo Kihyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:34:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,032</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30119139</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dlghted/pseuds/dlghted</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kihyun hasn’t gotten into trouble anymore in his last few years at Hogwarts, until he once again gets into a fight with his childhood enemy Changkyun and has to spend detention in the Forbidden Forest with him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>MX Fic Request Forum</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Request: "Changki Hogwarts au, enemies to lovers + Because of their constant fights, They get punished and send to the forbidden forest. They get lost and Kihyun tries to act ‘brave’ bcs he doesn’t want Changkyun to tease him, but in reality he’s about of having a panic attack (not literally hehe) and Changkyun rarely comforts him + Idk how, but please, can they become a couple after that? Maybe mutual crushes?"</p><p>Hi! I found this in the MX Fanfic Request Forum and then this just happened lol. I seriously had so much fun writing this, so I hope you’ll like it too :)</p><p>(The request said no actual panic attack, but there’s one anyway)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been about two months since Changkyun had first arrived at Hogwarts, but he was still just settling in. He had made a few friends by then, mostly other Ravenclaws, but he wasn’t that close with any of them. Changkyun got along well on his own, but he still got homesick a lot.<br/><br/>He was close with his family and missed his parents, but the fact that he could see his older brother more often now had helped him settle in a bit.<br/><br/>His brother was a Ravenclaw just like him, which didn’t mean that they had a lot in common, they really hadn’t. He was amazed at the thought of someone who grew up in the same household and got sorted into the same house as him being so fundamentally different from him. It didn’t matter though, it wasn’t a bad thing, they still got along really well.<br/><br/>Changkyun received a letter from his parents at least once a week, his brother still got one every week too. It was nothing unusual, most of the other students, no matter what year they were in, wrote letters to their parents all the time and received just as many back.<br/><br/>Changkyun forgot to take a letter from his mom with him after breakfast one morning though. And when he walked back to the Great Hall to get it, it wasn’t there anymore. He kept all the letters he received in a box in his dorm usually, but it wasn’t a big deal if he wouldn’t be able to find this one again. He had opened and read it at breakfast already after all.<br/><br/>He had looked everywhere near the place he had sat at but decided to give up when he couldn’t find it anywhere.<br/><br/>When he left to go back, he found a group of Slytherin first years standing in the hallway staring down at a letter, one of them reading out loud to the others. Changkyun knew them from a few classes they had together, he knew all of their names and that they were douchebags. The hallways were fairly empty at that time, and as he got closer to them, he could hear they were in fact reading his mom’s letter.<br/><br/>“<em>We really miss you and can’t wait for you and your brother to come back home for the Christmas holidays</em>,” Sam read.<br/><br/>“Aww…” Claire made a sarcastic pouting face.<br/><br/>“<em>I know you can manage alone just fine, but I can’t help but worry about you, sweetheart</em>.” They started laughing really hard at that. Sam continued reading after a short pause. “<em>You’re growing up so fast, I’m so proud of you and I miss you a lot. Love, Mom</em>.” <br/><br/>Im Changkyun was a confident and sassy eleven-year-old though, and he was very proud of his family, so he approached them without having to think about it. He really didn’t care about any of the bad things people said about his family, because he simply knew they weren’t true. He had learned that people thought what they wanted to about everyone anyway, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight back at all either.<br/><br/>“Don’t your parents send you letters or what?” he asked with squinted eyes as he looked straight at Sam, the one who had been reading the letter out loud. They all stared at him for a moment, Kihyun’s eyes widened and then they started laughing. Kihyun didn’t laugh though. <br/><br/>“Will you give it back to me or you want me to get it myself?” he asked, stepping closer and grabbing for it. Kihyun grasped from Sam's hold before he could though, pulled out his wand, and let the letter float in the air. <br/><br/>“Get it if you want it so bad,” Kihyun teased.<br/><br/>“Incendio!” another one of them spoke, he didn’t even register which one of them it was, as he watched the floating letter catch fire and disappear. <br/><br/>He was enraged but kept quiet as he noticed a teacher approaching. They left immediately after that, and Changkyun could hear their pesky giggling as they walked down the hall. <br/><br/>They didn’t molest Changkyun after that anymore since they didn’t really care about him personally, they just liked to bully random people on occasion. These people didn’t make long-time enemies because they simply didn’t take anyone serious enough for that.<br/><br/>They just laughed at Changkyun when he tried to defend other students that were being made fun of by them after that. It was how he had met his best friend actually, Jooheon, another first year in Hufflepuff.<br/><br/>Kihyun however seemed to bear a special grudge against him after their first encounter. He would mess with him regularly, and Changkyun fought back because he wouldn’t put up with his shit. They knew each other’s personalities and habits better than they would have liked to through all the detention they spent together at that time.<br/><br/>Changkyun didn’t like Kihyun. He found him rather annoying, but it would be a lie if he said he didn’t like messing with him at all.<br/><br/></p><p>***</p><p><br/>Changkyun wouldn’t consider himself a nosy person, but he had noticed that Kihyun didn’t exactly get a lot of letters. Actually, he hadn’t gotten any for weeks now, since Changkyun had noticed the lack of post for him for the first time at least. But it could have been months since his parents had last reached out to him, if at all.<br/><br/>A few days before the students long anticipated Christmas holidays however, Kihyun received post. A howler. Kihyun’s father’s loud voice could be heard through the whole Great Hall as he lectured him about all the detention he had gotten for getting into dumb fights with Changkyun, asking if he didn’t care about their family’s reputation at all and comparing him to his older brother who apparently never had gotten into trouble when he had been younger. And Changkyun almost felt bad for him.<br/><br/>He hadn’t known Kihyun had a brother, wasn’t he attending Hogwarts? Maybe he wasn’t a wizard, but it didn’t matter anyway. He just wondered why Kihyun’s parents had said something about their fights only now when they had constantly been fighting for months already. Changkyun’s mom and dad had asked him about it a long time ago and still did, but he told them that they didn’t need to be worried every time, that they were just messing with each other for fun. And his parents weren’t exactly thrilled by it but they believed him when he promised that their fights weren’t serious.<br/><br/>He didn’t like Kihyun, but he didn’t hate him either. He said few bad things to Changkyun once in a while, but his words never got to him. He was rude and reckless sometimes, he got him into trouble at school, but they wouldn’t ever seriously hurt each other.<br/><br/>It had gotten quiet in the Great Hall; everyone was listening attentively to Kihyun’s father until the hall broke into giggles once he had finished his lecture and the howler had exploded into flames. Even Kihyun’s friends were laughing at him. At least Changkyun had thought they were his friends; he had seen them hang out together.<br/><br/>Kihyun got up then and left. And when no one followed him, Changkyun considered going after him himself but saw one of the Slytherins get up a moment later to hopefully search for him. Changkyun didn’t know the guy but assumed he would be doing a better job at making Kihyun feel better than he would.<br/><br/>Changkyun saw Kihyun again for detention that same afternoon. They were cleaning some storage room together. <br/><br/>“About the howler…” Changkyun began. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring it up, but Changkyun genuinely wanted to. Just because he wasn’t exactly best friends with Kihyun didn’t mean that he didn’t care about what he had heard at all. And for some reason he wanted Kihyun to know that. <br/><br/>“Oh god, shut up,” Kihyun hissed, stood up, and turned away from him to sort through another old box.<br/><br/>“You know me well enough to know that I won’t. I heard what he said to you, and it was pretty intense,” he said in a serious tone. He was really trying to get across that he wasn’t making fun of Kihyun, but it probably wasn’t working. <br/><br/>Changkyun was good with words when he was able to write them down. Talking was harder, finding the right words was harder, and even though he thought of himself as someone who was able to get his feelings across just fine, it didn’t work like that with Kihyun. Who would trust someone they’re constantly fighting with anyway?<br/><br/>“I don’t need your fucking pity, Im,” Kihyun answered dryly, he wasn’t even looking at him. Maybe, just maybe he would have seen Changkyun didn’t mean it that way if he had looked at him.<br/><br/>“I don’t want you getting in trouble, our fights are stupid anyway. So, peace?” he proposed. <br/><br/>Kihyun was mad, he looked furious actually. Seemed like he didn’t like the idea of peace between them. “It’s not your fucking business.”<br/><br/>And Kihyun was angrier at him than usual for a few weeks after that.<br/><br/></p><p>***</p><p><br/>Five years later, in his sixth year at Hogwarts, Kihyun hadn’t talked to Changkyun in years. They had stopped fighting that frequently when they had been 13, Kihyun had had other things on his mind back then, and Changkyun hadn't seemed to miss their fights that much. Avoiding each other was the closest thing to peace they would ever have probably.<br/><br/>They had just come back to Hogwarts after the summer holidays and Kihyun was already going crazy with Minhyuk by his side. Kihyun had to read his cheesy letters in which he had told him about his crush all summer long, but it was even more annoying in real life. He really had had enough at this point. <br/><br/>Minhyuk had talked to Jooheon for the first time just before the summer holidays and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since. They had talked for a few minutes at most, but Jooheon had been so funny and kind, and his smile had made him go weak. <br/><br/>He was a Hufflepuff in his sixth year and Changkyun’s best friend, everyone knew that. They were practically glued to each other’s side even though they weren’t even in the same house.<br/><br/>Minhyuk didn’t really know Changkyun nor any of Jooheon's other friends so he had come up with various different plans over the summer. He had tried to find possible ways to befriend Jooheon and then make him fall in love with him, but none of his ideas seemed to be realistic, they just drove Kihyun insane. It was frustrating; Minhyuk usually wasn’t a shy person, but Jooheon made him shy, really really shy.<br/><br/>Minhyuk was putting a jacket on that he’d pulled out from under all the other clothes on the chair that was packed with all of his wardrobe. Kihyun hated how messy it looked. “I ordered some love potions from Sooyoung, I think I’ll go find her,” he informed him. It had seemed to be the only option without embarrassing himself too much, he had explained.<br/><br/>“Do you really think this is a good idea? Where does she even have them from?” Kihyun frowned.<br/><br/>As much as Kihyun hated this, he couldn’t be mad. Minhyuk was a great best friend, a good listener and he had always been there for him since they had gotten close in their first year. <br/><br/>Kihyun didn’t get along with a lot of people, everyone had always had respect for him in some way but that didn’t mean he had a lot of friends. In contrast to that, everyone liked Minhyuk, he was more outgoing and just fun to be around with. Minhyuk liked a lot of people but kept just a small circle of really close friends. Small as in just Kihyun and Hyunwoo, a Gryffindor in seventh year that he had known since his childhood.<br/><br/>“She didn’t make them herself, so don’t worry about it,” he informed because everyone knew how bad Sooyoung was in potions class.<br/><br/>“How could I not worry about it?” Kihyun was trying to talk some sense into Minhyuk. That didn’t always work, but he really hoped that it would this time. He was just trying to protect him from fucking this up and getting his heart broken. “It’s nothing constant, you’d have to give him love potions <em>every day</em>! That’s expensive dude, <em>and</em> wrong. And it will hurt you because you know he’s not being genuine. Why don’t you just go talk to him?” <br/><br/>“If you’d ever been in love before, you’d know why I can’t just do that,” Minhyuk tried to explain but Kihyun looked at him, unimpressed. “He makes me all… I don’t know, nervous… just thinking about him makes me nervous!” Minhyuk pouted. <br/><br/>It was true, Kihyun hadn’t been in love before but Minhyuk was surely just exaggerating, he thought as his best friend left their room to go and find Sooyoung.<br/> </p><p>***</p><p><br/>“What’s this?“ Kihyun asked his best friend the next morning when he found Im Changkyun clinging to him in the dining hall.<br/><br/>“You know how I asked Youngjae to put the potion in Jooheon’s drink in the Hufflepuff common room?” Minhyuk asked. “Well, apparently Changkyunnie here basically lives there and steals all of his snacks and drinks, hm?” he said teasingly as he looked at Changkyun, who gave Minhyuk major heart eyes and seemed to not even be noticing that Kihyun was there. Kihyun didn’t care about it, he didn’t want to talk to him anyway. “He really could have warned me that something went wrong though…”<br/><br/>Kihyun sighed and sat down next to Minhyuk. “I knew this would end badly.”<br/><br/>“Hi,” Changkyun greeted him, which surprised Kihyun, he had thought they would go on with just ignoring each other.<br/><br/>“Hello,” he answered awkwardly.<br/><br/>“I mean, it’s not how I wanted it to go but look at how cute he is!” Minhyuk said, sounding enthusiastic, he seemed to be very fond of Changkyun already. <br/><br/>“Sure,” Kihyun answered, rolling his eyes. “What are you going to tell Jooheon when he finds out? Or has he seen him like this already?”<br/><br/>“It takes a few hours until the potion kicks in, so he hasn’t. But do you think he’ll be jealous?” Minhyuk asked and Kihyun shrugged. His question seemed to make Changkyun pretty jealous though, he hugged him a little tighter to show Minhyuk that he belonged to him. For now, at least, Kihyun thought.<br/><br/>“I told you it was a bad idea in the first place. Please tell me you won’t try again...” Kihyun groaned.<br/><br/>“I don’t know, haven’t really thought about it, I want to see how he reacts to this first. Maybe we’ll get closer because I accidentally made his best friend fall in love with me,” he pondered.<br/><br/>“Uh yeah… I doubt that,” he replied. “So… we’ll just keep him until it wears off?”<br/><br/>Changkyun glanced in his direction weirdly because Kihyun was talking about him like he was some stray puppy. To Kihyun’s defence, he acted like one.<br/><br/>“He would get sad if I reject him, I can’t let that happen,” Minhyuk said and pouted at Changkyun sweetly.<br/><br/>“What? You’re friends with him now?” Kihyun frowned.<br/><br/>Changkyun let go of Minhyuk to cross his arms in front of his chest and look at Kihyun properly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.<br/><br/>“Kihyun, chill. I like Changkyunnie, he’s cool, and his hugs are great. I really think that you should reconsider your opinion about him,” Minhyuk defended him.<br/><br/>“What opinion?” Kihyun grumbled. <br/><br/>“Don’t deny that you still don’t like him just because you’ve been fighting a bit as kids,” his best friend hinted. <br/><br/>Kihyun simply didn’t like Changkyun, was that childish of him? He didn’t think so. “It’s not like I hate him, I just really don’t care about him.”<br/><br/>“Wow, you’re still so mean,” Changkyun groaned. Kihyun scoffed at him.<br/><br/>“Okay you both, be nice to each other!” Minhyuk warned them, and Kihyun tried to pull himself together then.<br/><br/>Minhyuk tried to make casual conversation with the two of them but Kihyun didn’t take part in it, he wasn’t in the mood to pretend.<br/><br/>It didn’t take long until Jooheon joined them. He had had to look around the Great Hall for a bit until he had found Changkyun at the Slytherin table instead of their usual spot and he seemed pretty confused about what he was doing there because Changkyun hadn’t even known Minhyuk until today, right?<br/><br/>“What happened?” Jooheon asked when he found him wrapped around Minhyuk like he wasn't ever going to let go again.<br/><br/>“I… might have given him a love potion?” Minhyuk explained. Kihyun could feel Jooheon judging him big time. <br/><br/>He looked at Minhyuk like he expected him to say something more, give him some justification, or that he would admit what he had done was dumb at least. But Minhyuk kept silent, so Jooheon just sighed, and then he tilted his head slightly and asked, “You like Changkyun?”<br/><br/>“Oh no, I don’t! It was an accident; it was meant for someone else!”<br/><br/>Jooheon just raised his eyebrows at that. Kihyun felt so much second-hand embarrassment as he watched their interaction, if this was what falling in love did to you then he was glad he didn’t have to deal with problems like that.<br/><br/>Even though Jooheon seemed pretty confused and just a little pissed off, he didn’t say anything, nor did he ask any more questions.<br/><br/>Expect for some classes, Changkyun followed them around all day and Kihyun was annoyed as fuck by that. At lunch Jooheon sat with them at the Slytherin table, and Minhyuk would have been happy about it if his crush hadn’t seemed that annoyed by the whole situation. Hyunwoo came to eat with them a while later too, and his presence calmed Kihyun down a bit from all the drama.<br/><br/>They talked about the love potion during lunch of course, but didn’t get deeper into the topic until everyone was done eating and Jooheon looked at Minhyuk and said, “Whoever you like, don’t you think your plan is a bit drastic? You can’t manipulate people into loving you. This,” he pointed between Minhyuk and Changkyun, “is just obsession, it’s not the same. I don’t get why you would do this to someone.”<br/><br/>Minhyuk bit the inside of his lip as Jooheon looked at him blankly.<br/><br/>“I’m sure Changkyun won’t mind it, but not everyone would be chill about this. It must feel really embarrassing in hindsight.” <br/><br/>Kihyun hadn’t ever really talked to Jooheon before, but at that moment he decided that he liked him. Maybe he would be good at talking some sense into his best friend, maybe these two could actually make sense together.<br/><br/>“That’s what I told him too, but he wouldn’t listen,” Kihyun added.<br/><br/>“Hey, can we talk? Alone?” Minhyuk asked Jooheon.<br/><br/>“Um, yeah?” Jooheon said but he seemed to have no idea what Minhyuk could want from him.<br/><br/>“Changkyunnie, can you let go for a few minutes? I’ll be right back, okay?” he promised. Changkyun looked sad but let go of him anyway. <br/><br/>Kihyun wasn’t really sure where the two were heading to. They had left the Great Hall to talk, and Changkyun was visibly uncomfortable without Minhyuk by his side and out of his field of view.<br/><br/>“I promised to meet my friends at the library, will you two be okay?” Hyunwoo asked Kihyun.<br/><br/>“Yeah sure, it’s okay,” he promised. He would be able to stand a few more minutes alone with this idiot after all.<br/><br/>They bid their goodbyes and Hyunwoo left, leaving Kihyun with a sad, fidgeting Changkyun by his side.<br/><br/>Kihyun had never been under the influence of a love potion. Was it really this bad? Changkyun seemed to be almost physically hurting when he had to leave Minhyuk’s side, what exactly had Sooyoung gotten Minhyuk there?<br/><br/>“I miss him,” Changkyun spoke after a few minutes of awkward silence between them.<br/><br/>“I know.”<br/><br/>“Can I not go to him again?”<br/><br/>“Give them a few more minutes.” Kihyun crossed his arms on the table and put his head on them. This was weird, couldn’t they come back and save him already?<br/><br/>Changkyun got up then and practically sprinted in the direction of the hallways. Kihyun just sat there and watched him for a few moments, considering if this was even any of his business, then he sighed. “Hey, fuck wait!” he screamed then and ran after him anyway.<br/><br/>Changkyun had slowed down after he had left the Great Hall, so it wasn’t hard for Kihyun to catch up to him and grab his shoulder. <br/><br/>Changkyun stopped and turned around to point his wand at Kihyun. “You just don’t want me to go see him!” he yelled at him, which made the other students around them all stare at them. <br/><br/>Changkyun ran away again but when Kihyun tried to run after him, he fell down immediately as if he had tripped over an invisible string. Kihyun groaned. “What the fuck, Im?!” He couldn’t even count how often Changkyun had used this spell on him as a kid already. “Expelliarmus!”<br/><br/>He watched how Changkyun’s wand slipped out of his hand and his body was thrown back. He bumped into a few other students, but he was quick to get up again, running to get his wand and then continued to search for Minhyuk. Kihyun ran after him and briefly apologized to the group of students when he passed by them, but he wasn’t able to catch up to Changkyun this time.<br/><br/>When he turned at the next corner, he saw that Changkyun had stopped running. He had found them. And at that moment Kihyun wondered if the potion made him feel where Minhyuk was located because it seemed like he had known exactly where he needed to go to find him.<br/><br/>He was sitting next to Minhyuk again, holding his hand tightly, but Kihyun’s best friend didn’t seem to be that happy about it. Jooheon looked really uncomfortable with the whole situation too.<br/><br/>“Dude what kind of love potion did you give him?” Kihyun grumbled.<br/><br/>Minhyuk didn’t answer his question, he just furrowed his eyebrows and asked, “What happened?” <br/><br/>But before Kihyun could explain anything he saw a professor approach them in the corner of his eye. Someone must have finked on them. “You two again, huh? I thought your old quarrels were over,” she said, looking at him then at Changkyun disappointedly. Minhyuk and Jooheon were just confused but kept quiet, they didn’t know what was going on.<br/><br/>“It wasn’t like that,” Kihyun began, he was at least trying to explain and defend Changkyun and himself.<br/><br/>“I don’t want to hear it, Mr. Yoo,” the professor told him. “I really expected you both to be more mature by now.” <br/><br/>And like that, Kihyun once again ended up getting two days of detention with Changkyun.<br/><br/>Kihyun sighed after she had left and told Minhyuk and Jooheon what had happened with Changkyun. “I have enough of this. And I still have some studying to do, so good luck with your puppy,” he told his best friend. He was still standing in front of them sitting in the hallway, he hadn’t even bothered to sit with them since he hadn’t been planning on staying there much longer anyway. He had had enough of seeing Minhyuk and Changkyun cuddle all day, it was annoying the hell out of him.<br/><br/>He told them goodbye and set off to the library. He could hear footsteps running after him as he was leaving though and Kihyun looked over his shoulder and noticed it was Jooheon. So he stopped and waited for him to catch up with him.<br/><br/>He smiled at Kihyun brightly and he could definitely see why Minhyuk had liked him so much after he had just talked to him once. “Are you on your way to the library?”<br/><br/>“Yeah,” Kihyun answered.<br/><br/>“Me too.” So they went together. <br/><br/>Kihyun didn’t want to be nosy so he didn’t say anything, but he was a little curious about how his conversation with Minhyuk had gone until Changkyun had interrupted them.<br/><br/>It turned out that he didn’t need to ask though because Jooheon brought the subject on himself. “So, he wanted to manipulate me but now stole my best friend instead.” <br/><br/>Kihyun chuckled. “Yeah, it’s a weird situation.”<br/><br/>“His plan is literally the most unromantic thing he could have done. It’s not like I would have said no if he’d just asked me out,” Jooheon said. So he liked him too, huh? “I don’t know what I’m going to do now.”<br/><br/>“So, you’re still considering dating him?” Kihyun asked.<br/><br/>“Yeah? Is that weird?” he frowned.<br/><br/>It’s not like he knew lots about stuff like this when he himself had never liked someone that much before, so he just shrugged and said, “Well, you like who you like, right?” <br/><br/>“Yeah, I guess,” he said thoughtfully, and then it got quiet for a few moments.<br/><br/>He knew it probably wouldn’t change anything, but Kihyun felt like he needed to defend his best friend and his actions at least a bit, “He’s not a bad person, he was just feeling desperate, you know?”<br/><br/>Jooheon smiled at him, “I have to be honest with you, I always judged you for the way you treated Changkyun when you were younger, but after today I don’t think that’s who you really are. I think you’re a kind person after all, you care a lot and you’re a really good friend.” <br/><br/>Kihyun appreciated Jooheon saying that a lot, but he wasn’t sure if he quite deserved the compliment.</p><p><br/>***</p><p><br/>Kihyun couldn’t help but feel gleeful when he came to the professor’s office that evening and saw that his best friend was waiting in front of the door with Changkyun. That meant he wouldn’t need to be alone with him at least, and that the effects of the potion still hadn’t worn off apparently.<br/><br/>“I’m glad you’re here too because all this is your fault in the first place,” he said as he approached Minhyuk.<br/><br/>“Look Ki, I’m sorry, okay?” Minhyuk apologized, but he knew that Kihyun wasn’t actually mad at him, he just liked to tease him. He looked to the floor and sighed, “I fucked it up with Jooheon too.”<br/><br/>“We were studying together until now, and we talked a bit. I think he might give you a second chance,” Kihyun told him and Minhyuk looked up at that.<br/><br/>“Are you sure?” he asked as he tilted his head.<br/><br/>“Give him a little time, I bet he’ll come around eventually,” he nodded, he was pretty sure of it from what Jooheon had told him.<br/><br/>The professor was very confused when Minhyuk explained to her that he voluntarily wanted to help, but Kihyun thought it was very amusing when she offered him plenty other rooms to clean “since he apparently liked to do that so much”.<br/><br/>The three of them cleaned and sorted through some storage room for about two hours, Minhyuk made sure to sit close to Changkyun the whole time who seemed to be content with that. Kihyun wouldn’t go as far as saying it was fun, but Minhyuk definitely lifted the mood a bit and it honestly wasn’t that bad thanks to him. <br/><br/></p><p>***</p><p><br/>But Minhyuk wouldn’t be there to break the tension between him and Changkyun on the next day during detention. Honestly, it made Kihyun quite nervous for some reason when he walked from the Slytherin common room to the professor’s office. <br/><br/>He tried to tell himself that it wasn’t that big of a deal, it was just a few hours and then he could go home again. He had done this like a thousand times before, it really was nothing special.<br/><br/>Changkyun arrived in front of the office a few minutes later than him. He didn’t say anything to Kihyun and that made him feel even weirder because he had somehow expected him to at least greet him or whatever.<br/><br/>The professor then told them that they were going to help Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest that day and led them down the hallway to the caretaker who should bring them to his hut.<br/><br/>Kihyun swallowed. It’s not like he hadn’t been to the Forbidden Forest before. He had taken Creature Care classes since his third year actually, and therefore visited the forest quite often during that class, but that didn’t mean it was any less dangerous in there, especially because it was dark outside already. Kihyun kept quiet as they followed the caretaker though. <br/><br/>It really had surprised Kihyun that Changkyun hadn’t greeted him, but he was walking right next to him now and apparently wanted to start a conversation with him. “I thought all of the kids were kidding when they told me they had to spend detention in the forbidden forest in the middle of the night…” Changkyun mumbled. <br/><br/>It wasn’t the middle of the night; it was just a few minutes past six. Kihyun tried not to roll his eyes at his weird try to talk to him and ignored him. <br/><br/>“Okay, so here we are again, huh? Did you miss detention with me?” Changkyun tried again later as they were following after Hagrid and his dog into the forest already. Kihyun felt uneasy but he just scoffed at Changkyun and that made him go quiet for a few minutes.<br/><br/>He decided he’d rather think of his first Creature Care classes, and that the forest wasn’t even <em>that</em> scary in daylight.<br/><br/>Changkyun was taking the classes too, Kihyun had noticed because his presence had annoyed him to death when he had been younger. It was one of Kihyun’s favourite classes actually, he was good with animals and liked to take care of them, and a few years ago he had thought Changkyun would ruin it all for him. But he could be glad that he had mostly ignored him during these classes even when they had still been constantly fighting with each other.  <br/><br/>Kihyun had to acknowledge that the forest was different in the dark though, it was way scarier. Kihyun wasn’t usually someone who feared the dark, but right now it made him anxious. His whole body was tense, it was telling him it was dangerous here. The fact that they couldn’t see as much as they would see of their surroundings in daylight was just adding to the fear of something happening to them. <br/><br/>Kihyun snapped his head to his right when he felt like he saw something move afar in the darkness. The thought of them being followed gave him goosebumps all over his body. He continued to stare into the distance, even though he tried to tell himself it had been nothing probably, that they were safe. <br/><br/>“What is there?” Changkyun wondered, following Kihyun’s line of sight.<br/><br/>“Nothing.” Kihyun forced himself to look forward and down onto the path again, even though he still wasn’t sure there really hadn’t been anything. He couldn’t let Changkyun think he was a coward; he would just make fun of him. <br/><br/>Kihyun knew he was being irrational; they wouldn’t let students go into the Forbidden Forest at his hour if Hagrid wouldn’t make sure they were safe… right? But the goosebumps wouldn’t leave and Kihyun suddenly felt really cold.<br/><br/>“What exactly are you still mad at me for?” Changkyun asked then, his voice was sounding rather calm.<br/><br/>A shiver ran down Kihyun’s spine and it took a moment until he answered. He had to make sure his voice sounded steady before he said, “You really don’t have to bother trying to solve things between us, Im.”<br/><br/>“Kihyun, look, I know we never made up and it’s okay if you don’t really like me, but can we please just get along?” Changkyun proposed. His voice sounded genuine, but Kihyun didn’t trust him. He didn’t see any reason for Changkyun wanting them to get along, he probably just said it because they might see each other more often if Jooheon and Minhyuk would really start dating. But Kihyun didn’t care about that, he didn’t plan on talking to him in the future even if he was the best friend of Minhyuk’s boyfriend. <br/><br/>Changkyun was suggesting peace? Okay fine, he would behave if Changkyun would do the same. He didn’t trust that he would though.<br/><br/>He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said because he wanted him to shut up already. Maybe this would backfire on him though and it would only motivate him even more to make conversation with Kihyun. <br/><br/>“Really?” Changkyun asked.<br/><br/>“Yeah, whatever.”<br/><br/>Thankfully, Changkyun didn’t say anything for a few minutes then, and Kihyun stayed concentrated, making sure that he wouldn’t miss anything that might be out of the ordinary and a possible danger to them. He noticed that he was sweating slightly, he felt a bit dizzy too, but he ignored it.<br/><br/>“Are you okay?” Changkyun asked softly then, Kihyun wanted to punch him for making it sound like he cared.<br/><br/>“Of course I’m okay,” Kihyun hissed at him.<br/><br/>“You’re shaking though. Are you sure you’re okay?” Changkyun asked. Kihyun couldn’t see that he was looking at him worriedly because stared down onto the ground, he was scared to meet his eyes. <br/><br/>Kihyun stopped walking and stared at his own hands. Changkyun was right, he was shaking. Fuck.<br/><br/>Changkyun had stopped too, Kihyun noticed when he looked up again. He scoffed, why was he even waiting for him? Hagrid had been walking a few meters in front of them for a whole while already, and now he hadn’t seemed to notice that they had stopped at all.<br/><br/>Kihyun shrieked. There was a sharp rustling in the bushes behind a tree right next to them. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He shivered, then turned around to look at Changkyun who was looking a bit startled too, but the only thing he could think about was that Changkyun definitely knew what was going on with him now. He knew Kihyun was scared.<br/><br/>“Kihyun, it’s okay. It’s–” he started, but Kihyun didn’t listen to what he was saying at all. He felt so small and vulnerable. He didn’t even think about what he was doing before he started to run.<br/><br/>He ran off the path and away from Changkyun because he couldn’t take him trying to hurt him right now.<br/><br/>“No, Kihyun! Wait!” Changkyun screamed after him, and Kihyun was pretty sure he was trying to follow him by the sound of fast footsteps behind him. That was the opposite of what he wanted to achieve though. He really just wanted to get away from him. <br/><br/>He had hoped Changkyun wouldn’t care where he went. Why did he seem to care about him now in the first place? <br/><br/>Kihyun’s heart was still beating rapidly and his breathing was getting really fast too, he couldn’t keep on running like this. He wasn’t sure where Changkyun was, if he was still behind him or if he could see him. He just crouched down onto the ground behind the nearest thick tree and hoped he wouldn’t be able to find him. <br/><br/>He started sobbing as soon as he had sat down and he realised, he had no idea where he even was and how to get back. What if no one would find him?<br/><br/>Running away had been a stupid thing to do. His whole chest was hurting, and he couldn’t seem to catch his breath even though he couldn’t have even run that far in such a short time, right? He wasn’t sure how far he had run actually.<br/><br/>There was a body crouching down next to him, keeping just enough space between them to make Kihyun notice it but not make him feel threatened. Kihyun didn’t look up, he only realised it was Changkyun when he heard his soft voice. <br/><br/>“It’s okay, you’re safe. I’m going to make sure you’re safe.” Kihyun started crying harder, couldn’t really make out the words that were whispered to him anymore.<br/><br/>“Kihyun, hey. Breath with me,” Changkyun said, and then he started to count from one to ten over and over again, starting with a pace that was just a little slower than Kihyun’s breathing and slowed down more and more after that. It helped to get his breathing to an almost normal pace again.<br/><br/>“How can I help you?” Changkyun asked, keeping the distance between them. <br/><br/>But Kihyun wasn’t so sure about that either. It wasn’t like he didn’t know what was happening to him, the last time he had felt like this had been years ago. He hadn’t experienced it often, just two times before. And this time he couldn’t have seemed to calm himself down again, it hadn’t ever been this bad.<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” Kihyun sobbed, curling in on himself. His heart was still beating in his chest loudly, it had become slightly calmer though. <br/><br/>“I know what it feels like; I have panic attacks too sometimes. But I promise it’s going to be okay,” he told him, and Kihyun noticed him fumbling with his cloak. “If you want… I have lavender oil here, and Bach flower bonbons, they might help you calm down.” Pulled a small bottle and a little can out of a pocket and showed it to Kihyun. He opened the box for him and offered it to him.<br/><br/>Kihyun extended his hand and carefully took one and noticed that his hands were still shaking as he eyed the bonbon between his fingers. He wasn't sure what made him trust Changkyun at that moment, but he just put it in his mouth. It was sweet, he liked the taste.<br/><br/>Changkyun held the bottle of lavender oil out to him and Kihyun took it. He carefully opened the closure and lifted it to his nose. “Just keep breathing, okay? Think of something that makes you happy,” Changkyun said gently, and Kihyun took a deep shaky breath and imagined petting his cat, Mia. Soft fur between his fingers and her purring that made him calm down whenever he was feeling sad or upset. <br/><br/>And then there were footsteps coming closer again, the sound made Kihyun shiver. <br/><br/>“It’s okay, it’s just Hagrid,” Changkyun assured him. “I think we should go back,” he told Hagrid. Kihyun didn’t listen to their further conversation and concentrated on keeping his breathing even instead. <br/><br/>Changkyun then turned to him again and said, “We’re going home, okay? Tell me when you’re good to leave.”<br/><br/>Changkyun stuck to his side on the way home, offered him another bonbon, and let him keep holding onto the lavender oil bottle since it seemed to help him somehow. He kept asking if he was okay and Kihyun promised him that he felt fine. His breathing and heart rate were normal again, and he had stopped shaking too before they had started their way back home. He just felt exhausted.<br/><br/>Changkyun accompanied Kihyun to the Slytherin Dungeon after Hagrid had brought them back to the castle and went to inform the professor that they were back again.<br/><br/>“Um, bye. Good night,” Changkyun said once they had reached the entrance.<br/><br/>“Good night. And um, here,” Kihyun said and held the lavender oil out to him. Changkyun didn’t take it though.<br/><br/>“Do you want to keep it?” he asked.<br/><br/>“Oh... really?” Kihyun asked, looking down onto the small bottle with wide eyes.<br/><br/>Changkyun nodded and smiled at him reassuringly. “I have another one,” he told him, pulled the box with the bonbons out again, and put five of them into Kihyun’s hand. “Just in case. Don’t eat too many of them at once though.”<br/><br/>Kihyun wanted to tell him he was okay, that he was fine again, and he probably wouldn’t need any more bonbons, but he accepted them anyway.<br/><br/>“And I’m sorry… about everything. I really am.” Kihyun nodded. He was starting to think that Changkyun actually meant it. <br/><br/>“Okay,” he said. “Good night.”<br/><br/>Changkyun waved him goodbye and waited in the hallway until the door had closed behind Kihyun.<br/><br/>Kihyun understood that he hadn’t just apologized for what had happened tonight (which wasn’t even really his fault) or that they had gotten detention because of him once again (which had been Minhyuk’s fault actually), but for all their previous fights and everything that had gone wrong between them. Changkyun was apologizing for how they had met even though he really shouldn’t, Kihyun realised. Of course, he had hurt Kihyun, but that their relationship to each other had formed off a first meeting like that had actually been Kihyun’s fault for participating in bullying him first.<br/><br/>Maybe everything could’ve been a lot different if they had met on another day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kihyun hadn’t talked to Changkyun since they had gotten back from home from the Forbidden Forest a few days ago. He had seen him a few times in the classes they shared and had noticed Changkyun looking at him like he wanted to say hi and come talk to him, but Kihyun had made sure not to look in his direction. It had made him feel slightly guilty each time though.</p><p>He was studying in the library when he saw him the next time outside of their classes. He was pretty far away so Kihyun thought it was safe to look at him from that distance. Changkyun seemed concentrated as he searched through a bookshelf, he didn’t notice him but Kihyun kind of wished that he would have. Wished, that he would come and talk to him and give Kihyun a chance to apologize because apparently, he was too much of a coward to approach him himself.</p><p>He wasn’t even sure what he was so scared of. Changkyun had helped him, had apologized even though he didn’t have to, and Kihyun wanted to believe that he had been genuine with everything that he had said.</p><p>He had never thanked him for helping him through the panic attack, hadn't known how to express that he was grateful for his help.</p><p>Maybe Minhyuk was right and Kihyun should have overcome the grudge he held against him a long time ago. Maybe Changkyun really wasn’t the person Kihyun had held him for anymore. Maybe he never had been.</p><p>Maybe he could forgive Changkyun, not necessarily for them to become friends but rather for himself. It was probably time for him to focus on the things that made him happy instead of obsessing about the past. Maybe this would be good for Kihyun, to just go to him, thank him and apologize.</p><p>And so, he did. He approached Changkyun, trying to think about it too much until it was too late to back down anyway because he was standing right next to him and a “hi” had slipped out his mouth already.</p><p>“Oh, hello?” Changkyun stared at him, seemed to be figuring out what Kihyun could want from him after he had been so cold.</p><p>“Um, I wanted to say thank you… about the other day in the forest.” Changkyun looked like he couldn’t believe Kihyun was actually thanking him for a moment, but then his face lit up.</p><p>“It’s okay, I’m glad I could help you,” he told him with a small smile.</p><p>“So, why do you bring lavender and Bach flowers with you all the time?” Kihyun wondered.</p><p>“I told you I have panic attacks sometimes. It's just to be safe, you know?” Changkyun explained. “Have you ever had one before that?” he wanted to know.</p><p>“Um, like... twice, I think.”</p><p>“Recently?” he asked. That Changkyun apparently really cared still felt weird.</p><p>“No. A few years ago,” Kihyun answered and Changkyun nodded.</p><p>“I thought we were going back to not talking to each other already,” Changkyun said. “But I’m glad that you did... that we are... talking right now.”</p><p>Kihyun’s eyes widened. He hadn't thought Changkyun would care about it that much.</p><p>He wasn’t sure what that meant for them though, that Changkyun wanted to be his friend? His plan had been to just apologize, he hadn’t thought about what would happen after that.</p><p>“Really?” he asked.</p><p>Changkyun nodded. “You didn’t even look at me, I thought you didn’t want to talk to me...” he said and started to play with the sleeve of his shirt. “I would have said something otherwise because I think I like you after all.”</p><p>“You’re not as bad as I thought either,” Kihyun admitted with a slight smile.</p><p>“That’s not what I meant… but thank you, I guess,” he said, rubbing the nape of his neck.</p><p>“What?” Kihyun asked and tilted his head.</p><p>He took a deep breath, bit his lip, and then looked into Kihyun’s eyes and said, “Would you punch me if I kissed you right now? Probably.” Changkyun looked embarrassed then and avoided looking at him again. “I really like you, and I really want to kiss you. But I won’t if you don’t want me to.” There was a slight blush on his cheeks and Kihyun just stood there, not knowing what to say.</p><p>He wasn’t even sure if he should believe him. He had always been an asshole to Changkyun, why would he even see him in such a way?</p><p>“If this is a joke, it’s not funny at all,” Kihyun said and looked at him with narrowed eyes.</p><p>He looked up and starred at Kihyun with wide eyes. “Kihyun, I like you. I mean it…” he said, and he sounded genuine; he really did. But Kihyun had thought Changkyun hated him just until a few days ago. What Changkyun apparently felt didn’t make sense to him. “I know you don’t trust me, and I understand, okay? You don’t have to, I just… want you to know that I mean it.” He wrapped his arms around his middle protectively.</p><p>“But I genuinely don’t understand why...”</p><p>“I think I’ve always had a crush on you. That’s why I liked fighting with you so much,” he explained with a slight smile, but he wasn't looking at him. “I thought I was over it, until… well, spending time with you because of Minhyuk’s potion... and all that. Are you mad?” he asked, biting the inside of his lip.</p><p>“Why would I be mad?” Kihyun frowned.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Changkyun said, his voice sounded unsteady.</p><p>Kihyun didn’t know what to do with this new information. He still wasn’t sure what made Changkyun apparently like him so much, but he believed him. Because Changkyun wasn’t a liar, he hadn’t ever lied to Kihyun to fool him; he hadn’t needed to. It had hurt the most when he had spoken the truth anyway.</p><p>“Okay, so, thanks again, and I’m sorry. I was really mean to you the other day,” Kihyun apologized and Changkyun tried to smile and show that he appreciated the apology, but it looked forced. He had hurt him, hadn’t he?</p><p>It wasn’t like Kihyun wanted to run away from him, but rather from this awkward situation. He didn’t know what to tell Changkyun. “Hey Changkyun, let’s talk again soon, okay?” he said.</p><p>He meant it, he wanted to talk to him again, and he hoped that Changkyun knew that he wasn’t just saying that.</p><p>“Yeah,” Changkyun nodded but avoided looking him in the eye.</p><p>And when Kihyun said goodbye and left the library, he felt guilty once again but for a whole other reason.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Changkyun and Kihyun saw each other a bit more frequently after that because Jooheon and Minhyuk had started dating a few days later. They were disgustingly happy together, and somehow Kihyun was very happy for them too. But that didn’t change how stressed he was about school and all the things that were on his mind.</p><p>He had been thinking about Changkyun a lot these last few days. Kihyun had told Minhyuk that he had confessed to him, and he was pretty sure Jooheon knew about it too, but they didn’t talk about it.</p><p>They had all spent quite a lot of time together, and while Kihyun couldn’t have imagined himself actually becoming friends with Changkyun just a few days ago, he found himself surprised at how good they all fit together. He enjoyed spending time with them even. He liked Jooheon, and he kind of liked Changkyun and getting to know him better too.</p><p>He would be lying if he said that it wasn’t awkward between them sometimes. But Changkyun was a very open person and surprisingly, them being Joohyuk’s third wheel drove them kind of closer. He hadn’t thought that that would be so easy for them, especially after Changkyun’s confession.</p><p>Kihyun hadn’t really spent any time alone with him though, it honestly kind of scared him. He didn’t exactly fear that it would be weird but rather that he would get to know Kihyun too well and figure out that he didn’t like him that much after all.</p><p>Because that was the exact opposite of what Kihyun was experiencing. As they slowly got closer, he actually seemed to like him more and more every time he learned something new about him.</p><p>Changkyun was giving him enough space, he respected Kihyun’s feelings and didn’t pressure him into anything, but he still showed interest in him and his stories and it made Kihyun feel… he wasn’t so sure about that actually. He didn’t know how Changkyun made him feel.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Changkyun was a touchy person. It was impossible for Kihyun not to notice how he liked to cling to Jooheon and Minhyuk. He didn’t do that with him, and Kihyun wasn’t sure if he was relieved or sad about that.</p><p>When they were all hanging out together someday, he saw all three of them cuddle together in the middle of the Hufflepuff common room, and Kihyun didn’t only feel slightly left out, but there was something else too that bugged him about it.</p><p>Changkyun noticed whatever look he was giving them and hesitantly asked, “Do you want to cuddle too?”</p><p>“No, thanks.”</p><p>Jooheon and Minhyuk started kind of abandoning Changkyun after a few minutes though. Cuddling with a couple must have been weird anyway, Kihyun figured.</p><p>Changkyun pouted and stood up to let himself fall down onto the couch next to Kihyun. “Your best friend drastically reduced my daily cuddle time with Joo since they got together,” he groaned. “Can I hug you instead?” he asked, pouting at Kihyun.</p><p>But Changkyun stopped immediately when he noticed what he was asking there, it seemed like he thought he had gone too far and just really didn’t want to make Kihyun uncomfortable in any way. “Sorry, I shouldn't have said that... sorry,” he said softly.</p><p>“No, it’s okay,” he assured. “You can hug me…” he told him but was too shy to look at him as he did so.</p><p>“Really?” Changkyun looked at Kihyun with wide eyes.</p><p>“Yeah… why not…?”</p><p>Changkyun moved closer to him then, laid his head on his shoulder and put his arms around Kihyun’s middle hesitantly.</p><p>They hugged for the first time. And to Kihyun it felt like there was some invisible force between them that wanted to draw him closer to Changkyun. It wasn’t what it felt like to hug Minhyuk or Hyunwoo.</p><p>He panicked a bit about what that might mean. Changkyun’s hair was soft and ticklish against his neck, and he was definitely enjoying this a bit too much.</p><p>When Jooheon and Minhyuk noticed them, they just smirked stupidly at him, but they didn’t say anything, it wasn’t their business after all.</p><p>Before Kihyun fell asleep that night, he thought of what had happened. It made him question if he had rejected Changkyun too harshly and he imagined how it would feel like to do more with Changkyun than to just cuddle him. Wasn’t he supposed to be disgusted by the thought of kissing and doing couple stuff with him?</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Kihyun wasn’t sure how it had happened. This feeling whenever Changkyun was near had only grown until he hadn’t been able to ignore it anymore.</p><p>Somehow he had always expected it to happen more quickly, just like Minhyuk had fallen hard from one day to another. But for Kihyun it seemed to be a process of noticing new things about Changkyun that made him like him even more than he did the day before that.</p><p>It felt weird to admit it, but he liked Changkyun.</p><p>He wasn't sure what to do about it. Acknowledging he was falling for him was easier than fully accepting it.</p><p>It wasn't like Kihyun hadn't known he liked boys too. He could see himself dating girls and boys, but funnily enough, he wanted to date Changkyun specifically. Just a few weeks ago he would have laughed at anyone who would have told him his first love would be Im Changkyun. He was probably the last person on earth he would ever have expected to like so much.</p><p>He would have a problem if his parents found out about this. He had always told himself that he shouldn’t worry about it too much, he might never end up with a boyfriend anyway. But now he might have to face what being bisexual meant for himself and the way other people perceived him, and that scared him a lot.</p><p>Kihyun hadn’t ever felt like this for anyone, everything was a little overwhelming, and he didn’t know how to tell Changkyun. He feared that it would be too late if he told him now because Changkyun saying that he was over it already and that his feelings hadn’t been that serious after all would hurt Kihyun more than wanting him but never getting him.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Falling in love was fucking with Kihyun’s head badly. He was constantly wondering about what Changkyun was doing, how he felt, and what he might be thinking about. It was hard for him to properly concentrate on anything for longer than a few minutes with thoughts about Changkyun always in the back of his mind.</p><p>But Kihyun felt overwhelmingly happy too, just the thought of his smile or a story he had told them when they had been eating together made his whole body feel warm and tingly.</p><p>He had been sitting in the library for hours now, trying to concentrate on his History of Magic assignment. It really wasn’t his favourite subject, but it had been going fine, he was almost done. But after Changkyun and Jooheon had walked past his table like half an hour ago and they had waved and smiled at him, Kihyun wasn’t able to think anymore. Actually, he wasn’t even sure where they had gone. Had they left? If they didn’t leave, why hadn’t they come to sit with him? Maybe they weren’t so close to each other yet after all.</p><p>Kihyun realised that he had just been staring at the book he was supposed to be reading for who knows how long, so he closed the book and packed up his things, he accepted that he wouldn’t finish the assignment that day anymore anyways.</p><p>He stood up to return the book to where he had gotten it from, but when he had just put it back into the shelf and was ready to leave, he heard a frustrated sigh and then Jooheon’s voice at the other side of the bookshelf. “Come on, you either concentrate now or you start talking to me already. What’s going on? Did something happen?”</p><p>Kihyun’s heart started racing at the thought of Changkyun sitting right there on a table with him. But he was worried, wasn’t Changkyun feeling well?</p><p>“No…” Changkyun answered, his voice sounded sad.</p><p>“But?”</p><p>He shouldn’t be listening in on their private conversations. He knew it would be the right thing to just leave, but he didn’t. He needed to know what was wrong with Changkyun.</p><p>“I think he still hates me,” Changkyun explained. “He just feels bad about it because I’m nice to him… he probably pities me.”</p><p>Kihyun’s eyes widened as he stared at the wood of the bookshelf before him. He was making Changkyun sad. Of course, he was making him sad. He had behaved selfishly, hadn’t he?</p><p>“Changkyun, no… I know for a fact that he doesn’t hate you. You’ve been getting along really well, haven’t you? He even cuddled with you.”</p><p>“Yeah maybe, but he has been trying to avoid me ever since. He doesn’t even want to be alone with me, Joo. I fucked up. Badly,” Changkyun groaned.</p><p>He should have thought about how Changkyun must feel when Kihyun had rejected him and then talked to him like nothing had happened at all and tried to avoid spending time alone with him.</p><p>“It might have been a bit… sudden for him,” Jooheon said.</p><p>“I didn’t want to beat around the bush,” Changkyun explained. Kihyun thought it was a brave thing to do. “But would it really have changed anything? He hardly even likes me as a friend.”</p><p>Jooheon was right, Changkyun’s confession had been sudden, but that wasn’t an excuse for what Kihyun was doing to him. He was making Changkyun suffer and wait, even though he didn’t even know that. He didn’t know that he was waiting, Changkyun thought that Kihyun didn’t like him. He was making Changkyun sad just because he was a coward.</p><p>What he was doing wasn’t fair. He needed to get closer to Changkyun, needed to let him know he liked him.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Changkyun was sitting with Jooheon and another Ravenclaw student when Kihyun and Minhyuk approached them at breakfast. Minhyuk sat down with them and kissed his boyfriend hello, and Kihyun had a mission: Ask Changkyun to hang out with him.</p><p>He felt nervous as he stood there, but quickly tapped Changkyun’s shoulder to get his attention before he could change his mind. “Hey Kyun.” He turned around to look at him curiously, but Kihyun felt too shy to look directly into his eyes. “Do you want to hang out after class today?”</p><p>Changkyun looked pretty surprised by his question but nodded quickly and smiled at him. “Yeah, sure.”</p><p>“Okay, cool,” he said, sat down next to him, and tried to calm his heart rate down again, but the thought of spending time alone with Changkyun didn’t exactly make that any easier for him.</p><p>Kihyun got to know Hyungwon, one of Changkyun’s roommates, that morning but otherwise didn’t take part in the conversation that much.</p><p>In the afternoon Kihyun asked Changkyun if he had ever been to the Slytherin dorms before. And he couldn’t help but feel somewhat of proud that he had beat Minhyuk with bringing him there first when Changkyun shook his head.</p><p>Knowing that Minhyuk was on a date with Jooheon and that Felix wouldn’t be there anyway, he barely ever was since he had gotten a girlfriend last year, Kihyun took Changkyun to their dorm room that afternoon and introduced him to his cat Mia. She seemed to like him, but she liked almost everyone who gave her enough attention and cuddles after all.</p><p>Seeing Changkyun petting and playing with her was adorable. He couldn’t imagine how he could have ever hated him at that moment.</p><p>Later when Changkyun curiously looked around his room, he found the small bottle of lavender oil on Kihyuns bedside table. He picked it up, smiled at it, and put it back down again.</p><p>“Do you really have another one?” Kihyun wondered.</p><p>“...No. I lied,” Changkyun chuckled softly.</p><p>And when Kihyun wanted to give it back to him, he refused and told him he would just buy a new one.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Changkyun had promised to take him to the Ravenclaw Tower next time, so that was what they were doing later that week. Kihyun had been excited about it for days even though he had told him that he shared his dorm with four other people and some of them would probably be there too. They wouldn’t be alone, but it didn’t matter. Kihyun didn’t exactly like most people, nor did he know how to make them like him, but he would try to become friends with Changkyun’s friends if that would make him happy.</p><p>Somehow it was a big deal to see how he lived, maybe that had also been the reason he really had wanted to show Changkyun his room. Oh, he was in deep, wasn’t he? He actually wanted him to know him even though that meant he could get judged and rejected by him in the end.</p><p>But Kihyun needed to be brave for once because Changkyun had been brave to tell him he liked him too. Kihyun just needed to hope that he still did, while Changkyun had probably been pretty sure that he would get rejected, and yet he had done it anyway.</p><p>“Wait, I want to solve the riddle!” Kihyun told Changkyun excitedly when they arrived in front of the entrance to the Ravenclaw Tower. “Can I?” he asked.</p><p>“Of course you can,” Changkyun grinned at him.</p><p>They stepped in front of the door. “<em>What can you catch but never throw?</em>”</p><p>Kihyun thought about it for a while and Changkyun patiently waited beside him, gave him time to figure it out. Kihyun wondered if he knew the answer, but he probably did, right?</p><p>Kihyun wasn’t sure, he a bit scared to say something wrong, he wanted to impress Changkyun after all.</p><p>“A cold,” he answered then. And when the door opened for them, all of Kihyun’s anxiety washed away and he smiled to himself proudly.</p><p>“I kind of expected something more challenging,” he said, chin up and grinning at Changkyun.</p><p>Changkyun chuckled. “Why? Would you rather stand here waiting for someone else to solve it for us because it’s so difficult?” he asked. “There are harder ones too, don’t worry about it,” he promised, grabbing Kihyun’s arm and leading him through the door. His smile widened at the physical contact Changkyun initiated.</p><p>“Does it ever run out of new riddles?” Kihyun wanted to know as he looked around the Ravenclaw common room. It looked welcoming with all the big windows everywhere, somehow it was exactly how he had imagined it to look like.</p><p>“Not really. Sometimes there are well-known ones, but I’ve never heard that it asked the same question twice. Unless it hasn’t been answered right of course,” Changkyun answered.</p><p>“Don’t they drive you crazy?”</p><p>Changkyun pulled him closer and whispered to him, “It’s not the riddles that drive me crazy, it’s the other Ravenclaws.”</p><p>“Is it that bad?”</p><p>“Sometimes it is. They get into fights a lot,” he explained.</p><p>“Oh, yeah I can imagine that.” Kihyun didn’t know a lot of Ravenclaws. Especially not close, but he had met some of Hyunwoo’s friends who were in Ravenclaw, and Kihyun’s impression of all of them was so incredibly different, it had seemed like all of them were nothing alike. He could picture how that would end in a lot of fights.</p><p>Changkyun let go of his arm when they reached his dorm room, Kihyun felt a little sad about it. They said hi to Hyungwon and he introduced him to Hoseok, Hyungwon’s boyfriend. A Hufflepuff with wide shoulders and a bright smile who apparently had basically moved in with them according to Changkyun. He could remember him talking about him before.</p><p>They sat down on the floor by the big window next to Changkyun’s bed after he had introduced him to another roommate that had approached them, but Kihyun hadn’t heard of him before.</p><p>The view was pretty and Kihyun felt really happy at that moment. It had been so easy to become a part of Changkyun’s life, even after everything that had happened between them. He had let him in, and it had seemed like such an easy thing to do for Changkyun.</p><p>It got late, and when Kihyun left hours later, Changkyun decided he wanted to accompany him on his way back to the Slytherin dorm. But maybe he just didn’t want Kihyun to leave. He blushed slightly at the thought of that. Kihyun didn’t want to leave either.</p><p>When they arrived Changkyun wanted to say something, but Kihyun beat him to it and asked, “Did I ever apologise for what I did to you?”</p><p>Changkyun tilted his head and frowned slightly. “What did you do to me?” he asked softly.</p><p>“You know what I’m talking about,” he said and pressed his lips together. “It was my fault that we didn’t get along. And yet you’re so nice to me like it doesn’t matter what happened at all.”</p><p>“It doesn’t,” he assured him. “Why does it matter so much to you?”</p><p>“It shouldn’t have happened like that,” Kihyun told him and looked down onto the floor. “And because I feel bad,” he added.</p><p>“I think everything happens for a reason. I get it though, sometimes it’s hard to get over things that happened in the past, but it was my fault just as much as it was yours, I don’t want you to feel bad about it anymore.”</p><p>Kihyun nodded. Changkyun’s words made him feel a bit less guilty about it, for the moment at least.</p><p>“I’m glad we’re friends now,” Changkyun said. And even though he smiled at Kihyun he seemed to be happy and sad about it at the same time. Kihyun wondered when he had gotten so used to him, so used to all the expressions Changkyun’s face made and if he was reading this right.</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Lately, Kihyun’s dorm felt like a single room. He would have been glad about how much alone time he had since Minhyuk spent most of his time with Jooheon if only he wouldn’t miss his stupid best friend. It made him realise just how used to being around Minhyuk all the time he was.</p><p>It wasn’t like he wasn’t welcome to hang out with them whenever he wanted to, but he wasn’t enthusiastic about being their third wheel without Changkyun or anyone else there to keep him company.</p><p>But having the room to himself also meant that he could invite Changkyun over and spend some alone time with him, and Kihyun appreciated that very much.</p><p>He liked when they played with Mia on his bed, that they could talk for hours without it ever getting boring, and that Changkyun didn’t try to make him leave the dorm as Minhyuk did sometimes but rather enjoyed to just chill there with Kihyun. He liked that he sometimes almost fell asleep in Kihyun’s bed when it got late. Kihyun hated to wake him up, but he still did it every time.</p><p>One time a few days ago, however, he had decided he wouldn’t. He would just tell him that he fell asleep too in the morning, it would be fine. He could look at him sleeping peacefully a bit more until he would fall asleep himself and it would be fine.</p><p>But Minhyuk had decided that he wanted to sleep in his own bed that night apparently and had woken Changkyun up as he rushed into the room and told Kihyun about a small fight he had with Jooheon. They had apologized to each other the next morning though and everything had seemed to be normal again. But Kihyun had been mad.</p><p>Changkyun was leaning against his headboard and Kihyun sat cross-legged at the other end of the bed. “I want to ask you something,” he said and Changkyun looked at him expectantly. “Do you still like me?”</p><p>Changkyun stopped petting Mia and froze for a second, then looked at him with wide eyes. “Are we really talking about this now?”</p><p>“Yeah?” He looked down at Changkyun’s hands that were still buried in Mia’s black fur. He thought about how much he wanted to hold them and if he would be able to if he was brave enough to confess to him now.</p><p>Changkyun sat up straight with Mia in his lap and tried to look at Kihyun, but he just started blushing slightly and looked down onto Kihyun’s bedsheets again. “It doesn’t make you uncomfortable that I like you?” he frowned.</p><p>“No,” Kihyun answered truthfully. “So you still do?”</p><p>“Yeah, fuck. Of course I still do, it’s not that easy.” It wasn't that easy to what? It wasn't that easy… to get over Kihyun?</p><p>It was what he had wanted to hear, yet Changkyun’s answer surprised him. It sounded frustrated almost like he was trying so hard to stop thinking about Kihyun but couldn’t. It was what he wished that Changkyun would feel for him, but to hear him say something like that still sounded surreal.</p><p>“Why? Why do you like me?” Kihyun asked softly and he hoped that Changkyun understood he wasn’t doing this because he wanted to hurt him. “I think I still don’t really get it… we’ve just been fighting constantly and then we completely stopped talking to each other.”</p><p>“Don’t you think it’s better if we don’t talk about this?” Changkyun just hummed and continued to pet Mia lovingly.</p><p>“Why would that be better? We can’t just act like it never happened,” Kihyun argued.</p><p>“Why not? It’s embarrassing…” he groaned and pulled his sleeves down over his hands.</p><p>“You don’t usually get embarrassed either, so just answer my question!” Kihyun pouted.</p><p>“Kihyun, come on. It was not that weird of me to start liking you. I don’t know what you want me to say. I just thought you were interesting; I don’t know why you still think that I ever hated you,” Changkyun explained shyly.</p><p>“You… didn’t?”</p><p>“I didn’t,” he confirmed. “Why are you asking me all this?”</p><p>Kihyun knew that the hardest part of this conversation was already over; he had asked all of his questions. He had the certainty that Changkyun liked him, but it still cost him a lot of courage to say the next words. “You know how we weren’t even friends? But then, we were? I mean, we are? But maybe I don’t want to be friends anymore? Wait, fuck. That's not... it’s not that I want to go back to hating you, but more like, I want to start… dating you… actually.”</p><p>Finding the right words was even harder. But as he had said them, he felt a bit less nervous, he just felt proud about finally having told Changkyun. And when Changkyun’s eyes widened at his confession, Kihyun just enjoyed looking at him as he realised what he had said to him.</p><p>“Oh… what? That’s… that’s why you asked?”</p><p>Kihyun nodded. “I really like being around you, I really like you.”</p><p>“Oh.” His mouth was slightly opened as he just stared at Kihyun like he couldn’t believe what had just happened.</p><p>Kihyun grinned at him. “<em>Oh</em>?”</p><p>“Stop mocking me, I’m processing!”</p><p>“Okay cool, but will you kiss me any time soon or…?” Kihyun teased.</p><p>His eyes widened at that and Kihyun stared at him as Changkyun licked his lips. “I can’t move. The cat.” Changkyun pointed at the sleeping cat in his lap.</p><p>Kihyun rolled his eyes. “Her name is Mia,” he said as he lifted the cat from his lap and laid her down at the end of his bed.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Why are you calling her ‘the cat’ then?” Kihyun asked with furrowed brows.</p><p>But Changkyun moved closer and pressed his lips onto his instead of answering the question. Kihyun was more than fine with that though.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Changkyun stood up from his bed when he saw Kihyun and Hyungwon walking into his dorm together. Hyungwon and Hoseok were his closest friends besides Jooheon, so he was glad that they had gotten along well until now.</p><p>“Hi.” Changkyun smiled when his boyfriend came to hug him tightly and pressed his nose against his neck. “But you’re late,” he whispered.</p><p>“He couldn’t answer the riddle, good that I ran into him,” Hyungwon told him with a grin.</p><p>Kihyun let go of him and stared at Hyungwon. “Hey, I told you not to tell him that!” Kihyun said. He looked at him like no one had ever betrayed him like that before.</p><p>Hyungwon just broke into a full-body laugher at that.</p><p>“I bet Hoseok couldn’t get all of them right either,” Kihyun told him with narrowed eyes.</p><p>“Not all of them. Everyone gets–“ Hyungwon tried to tell him.</p><p>“Ha!” Kihyun grinned proudly.</p><p>Everyone gets it wrong once in a while, was what he wanted to say. But Hyungwon gave up on it and let himself fall onto his bed. “Dude, he’s so offended by that,” he chuckled. “You really had to get yourself a Slytherin, huh?”</p><p>“Is he insulting me?” Kihyun frowned.</p><p>Changkyun tightly put his arms around Kihyun’s waist. “It’s okay, Kiki. I couldn’t answer each of them either…” he tried to soothe him. “It’s sweet if you’re trying to impress me or whatever but you’re already impressive to me, you know?”</p><p>“By the way, the question was ‘What type of–‘”</p><p>“Silencio!” Kihyun said, swinging his wand and making Hyungwon shut up. He grinned proudly.</p><p>Changkyun just sighed. “I know it’s fun to tease him, believe me, but you really shouldn’t. He can be sneaky as fuck,” he advised Hyungwon. “And you… you can’t just cast spells over my friends,” Changkyun warned his boyfriend and then raised his own wand to reverse the spell.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Kihyun pouted at his boyfriend.</p><p>“You shouldn’t be apologizing to <em>me</em>.” But Kihyun got away with it because Changkyun couldn’t resist his hugs and kisses. And Hyungwon luckily wasn’t someone who actually got mad because of stuff like this.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Kihyun wasn’t the biggest fan of Christmas season, but there had been Christmas songs stuck in his head for the past few weeks now since Changkyun started listening and singing to them before December had even started.</p><p>Winter was Changkyun’s favourite season. Kihyun couldn’t understand that at first, but if it being winter meant that Changkyun would spend the whole afternoon in his bed, cuddling him for warmth, he might do now.</p><p>“I told my parents about you. Actually, I told them about you a while ago already,” Changkyun told him one afternoon in Kihyun’s dorm. “And they really want to meet you.”</p><p>He raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”</p><p>“Do you want to come home with me for the Christmas holidays?”, Changkyun asked. “Obviously, you don’t have to stay for the whole two weeks if you don’t want to. You can come after Christmas too if you have plans already, you can come whenever you like actually and stay as long as you want to. And it’s okay if–“</p><p>“Do they know who I am?” Kihyun interrupted him.</p><p>“What…?”</p><p>“We were fighting all the time, of course they know who I am,” Kihyun figured and hid his face in his hands. What great first impression his boyfriend’s parents must have of him…</p><p>“Yeah,” Changkyun answered and smiled at him softly. Changkyun took Kihyun’s hands and put them down into his lap to hold onto them tightly as he looked into his eyes. “They won’t judge you; I promise. My parents aren’t like that. They’ll love you,” he assured him.</p><p>Kihyun let his head fall onto Changkyun’s shoulder. “I’m not good with people, only imagine how bad I am at talking to parents…”</p><p>“You don’t realise how charming you are,” he chuckled. “Just smile at them once and they’ll love you forever,” he promised and stroked Kihyun’s back gently. “I never talked badly about you. To no one, okay?”</p><p>Kihyun sat up straight and looked at him confusedly.</p><p>“How often will I have to tell you that I never hated you, Kihyun?” Changkyun said, put his arms around Kihyun’s neck, and kissed his nose. Kihyun giggled. “So, will you come home with me?”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess I’d like that,” Kihyun answered with a small smile.</p><p>“We can bake together and watch Christmas movies, stay up for as long as we want… I really want you there with me.”</p><p>Kihyun softly held Changkyun’s face and leaned his forehead against his. “How can you be this perfect and I didn’t even notice?” he said because it was true. It was easy to let yourself be blinded by first impressions, jealousy, and mistakes that were made in the past. He could have had Changkyun in his life for years if they met just a little differently.</p><p>“Well, it took us a while, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It doesn't matter how long it took because I got you now,” Changkyun grinned and leaned in to press his lips against his boyfriend’s softly. Kihyun smile into the kiss.</p><p>While Kihyun now thought that he had just been standing in the way of his own happiness for too long, everything had happened once they had been ready for it. Changkyun was right, it didn’t matter how long it took them because they had ended up together eventually and they were happy like this.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>It hadn’t been that hard to tell his parents that he was spending Christmas with a friend after he had convinced them to let him spend it at Hogwarts last year. And when Kihyun sat in the Hogwarts Express a few weeks later, he didn’t even feel as nervous about meeting Changkyun’s parents anymore. Changkyun had helped him pick out presents for them and had told him a lot about his parents and his brother, so much that Kihyun wasn’t as worried about how he would fit in with them as he used to be.</p><p>Changkyun’s dad was a muggle. Kihyun hadn’t ever had much to do with muggles but his dad was welcoming and he talked a lot, it made Kihyun feel less nervous for some reason.</p><p>Changkyun’s mom immediately hugged him when she met him that day, and while Kihyun wasn’t used to that, he didn't mind it at all. She was a witch with long black hair and a warm smile, she was beautiful. She was a professional artist, and if Changkyun hadn’t told him that before they had arrived at his house Kihyun probably also could have figured that out himself.</p><p>The house was the opposite boring, Kihyun wasn’t sure where to look first actually. There were colourful animated paintings, photographs, and artworks everywhere, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to properly look at every one of them before they would have to leave again. Everything looked kind of messy even though it really wasn’t, it was an organized, homey mess and Kihyun really liked it.</p><p>He instantly liked Changkyun’s family, they made him feel comfortable and welcomed. Changkyun’s bother was visiting too, he would only stay two days though so he could spend the rest of his holidays with his girlfriend who also was visiting her family right now. He had told Kihyun that he had met her at Hogwarts when he had been fifteen.</p><p>Changkyun’s parents were chill. They let them sleep in Changkyun’s bed together, his mom even joked about them “probably already having done stuff anyway”. Changkyun’s eyes had widened and he had scolded her for saying something like that and making Kihyun uncomfortable. And Kihyun wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed only because of what she thought or because she was right.</p><p>On the first night, Changkyun had a panic attack. Kihyun wasn’t fully asleep yet when it happened, so he was quick to turn on the lights when he noticed something was wrong. He tried his best to calm him down like Changkyun had done for him back then, but he wasn’t sure if he was helping at all. He hadn’t seen him like that before and it just hurt.</p><p>Kihyun couldn’t find the lavender oil, neither Changkyun's new one nor the one he had gifted him, but got him his Bach flower bonbons, and when Changkyun asked him if he could hold him, he did until it was over.</p><p>“You never told e why you get panic attacks… wait, is that a dumb question? Sorry.” He didn’t allow Changkyun to answer before he asked, “Does this stress you out? That I’m here?” Kihyun frowned and tried not to show what that thought did to him, but it probably wasn’t working. Changkyun was learning very well how to read him.</p><p>“No. No!” Changkyun looked into his eyes and shook his head lightly. “I’m so happy that you’re here. Don’t you know that?” he asked and caressed Kihyun’s cheek. When Kihyun didn’t answer he asked again, “Do you?”</p><p>“Yeah, I just… sorry,” he said and bit his lip.</p><p>Changkyun frowned at him. “Don’t be sorry…”</p><p>“Okay,” he whispered and then concentrated on the feeling of Changkyun’s thumb stroking over his cheek softly. “I’m just really happy to be here. With you.”</p><p>Changkyun was content then, he smiled at him and rested his head against his chest.</p><p>“So, the panic attacks…” he began. Kihyun grabbed Changkyun’s hand and intertwined their fingers, watched Changkyun stare at their hands as he began to play with them. “I’m sensitive to changes, I guess. It just happens sometimes when I’m sleeping somewhere, I’m not used to. Isn’t it weird how I’m apparently not used to my own room anymore? But yeah, it usually happens on the first days,” Changkyun told him, and Kihyun wasn’t sure what he had done to deserve this, Changkyun falling in love with him and opening up to him like this. But he would do everything so he could keep this.</p><p>“Maybe I should have warned you,” Changkyun considered.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter, it’s okay,” he assured and caressed Changkyun’s back through his shirt gently.</p><p>“I also get them when I wake up after nightmares, and sometimes when I just feel stressed,” he added.</p><p>Kihyun didn’t know what to say, so he just hummed and started stroking Changkyun’s hair.</p><p>It got quiet for a few moments until Changkyun softly asked, “Why did you get them?”</p><p>Kihyun stared up at the ceiling and sighed. “I had the first one the night before I had to go back home for Christmas in third year, and another one a few days after that,” he told him. He held his breath and then asked, “Are we going to talk about my parents now…?”</p><p>Changkyun didn’t know a lot about Kihyun’s parents, maybe because Kihyun himself didn’t know that much about them. He knew that his relationship with them wasn’t the greatest, but Kihyun had never actually talked to him about it.</p><p>“No. If you don’t want to then no.”</p><p>“I guess we’ll have to talk about it someday… but it’s really not that important to me right now. It just gets bad when I have to face them.”</p><p>“But if you ever want to talk about it then I’ll listen,” Changkyun promised. He changed his position then, looked at Kihyun, and asked, “They don’t hurt you… right?”</p><p>“Uh, no.”</p><p>He looked at Kihyun with furrowed brows. “What do you mean <em>uh, no</em>?”</p><p>“No. No, they don’t,” he assured him.</p><p>Kihyun’s eyes widened when Changkyun proposed, “Maybe you can stay here during summer too?”</p><p>The summer holidays at home weren’t that bad actually. It wasn’t ideal, but his parents usually worked a lot in these months, and he was left alone.</p><p>“I really can’t expect your parents to do that. Do you even want me around that long?” Kihyun giggled.</p><p>Changkyun hugged him tighter. “Of course I do!”</p><p>Kihyun smiled then and said it for the first time. “I love you.”</p><p>He had waited, thought about when the perfect moment to tell Changkyun would be, but apparently, it was as simple as that. Changkyun was honest. He made Kihyun smile a lot and he made things just a bit easier by being by his side.</p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p>Kihyun wished that in the future he could spend many Christmases that felt like this one had. It was hard when they had to leave the place two weeks later. But it didn’t matter in the end, it wasn’t the house that had made him feel at home, it was Changkyun.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I honestly struggled a bit with making Kihyun behaving like an asshole as a child plausible without making it seem like it’s an excuse for bullying Changkyun. (I really hope that turned out okay.) He grew up, and he's still learning, but he has a good heart and we love him :)</p><p>Anyways thanks for reading!!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Second chapter is almost finished, I'll try to update soon! Thank you for reading and tell me your thoughts &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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